The first Sunday in March, Mae taught our lesson based on a talk given by Jeffrey R. Holland entitled, "The Tongue of Angels". Below are my favorite quotes, but you can find the full talk HERE
"The Prophet Joseph Smith deepened our understanding of the
power of speech when he taught, “It is by words … [that] every being works when
he works by faith. God said, ‘Let there be light: and there was light.’ Joshua
spake, and the great lights which God had created stood still. Elijah
commanded, and the heavens were stayed for the space of three years and six
months, so that it did not rain. … All this was done by faith. … Faith, then,
works by words; and with [words] its mightiest works have been, and will be,
performed.” Like all gifts “which cometh from above,” words are “sacred, and
must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit."
“The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of
the tongue breaketh the bones.”
"The voice that bears profound testimony, utters fervent
prayer, and sings the hymns of Zion can be the same voice that berates and
criticizes, embarrasses and demeans, inflicts pain and destroys the spirit of
oneself and of others in the process. “Out of the same mouth proceedeth
blessing and cursing,” James grieves. “My brethren [and sisters], these things
ought not so to be.”
Wives, what of the unbridled tongue in your mouth, of the power for
good or ill in your words? How is it that such a lovely voice which by divine
nature is so angelic, so close to the veil, so instinctively gentle and
inherently kind could ever in a turn be so shrill, so biting, so acrid and
untamed? A woman’s words can be more piercing than any dagger ever forged, and
they can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant
than anyone in the beginning of that exchange could ever have imagined.
Sisters, there is no place in that magnificent spirit of yours for acerbic or
abrasive expression of any kind, including gossip or backbiting or catty
remarks.
We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don’t say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child’s view of himself or herself. But it is even more important in shaping that child’s faith in us and their faith in God. Be constructive in your comments to a child—always. Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely. You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget—and to forgive. And try not to compare your children, even if you think you are skillful at it. You may say most positively that “Susan is pretty and Sandra is bright,” but all Susan will remember is that she isn’t bright and Sandra that she isn’t pretty. Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture’s obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are “enough.”
I suppose it goes without saying that negative speaking so
often flows from negative thinking, including negative thinking about
ourselves. We see our own faults, we speak—or at least think—critically of
ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. No
sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long we and
everybody around us are miserable.
I love what Elder Orson F. Whitney once said: “The spirit of
the gospel is optimistic; it trusts in God and looks on the bright side of
things. The opposite or pessimistic spirit drags men down and away from God,
looks on the dark side, murmurs, complains, and is slow to yield obedience.” We should honor the Savior’s declaration to “be of good cheer.” (Indeed, it
seems to me we may be more guilty of breaking that commandment than almost any
other!) Speak hopefully. Speak encouragingly, including about yourself. Try not
to complain and moan incessantly.
Yes, life has its problems, and yes, there are negative
things to face, but please accept one of Elder Holland’s maxims for living—no
misfortune is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse.
